So our oldest left for basic training in the Air Force today (actually last night). I. Am. A. Mess. We. Are. A. Mess.
Confession: I am a hard mom. I have high expectations – within reach- but high. I usually don’t waver. This has led to my kids – knowing that I love them – but not accustomed to touchy, feely, emotion, filled moments. I am the calm – balanced one. So today – the “tall one” leaving – hit me like a ton of bricks. Surprised all of them and quite frankly me. Don’t ask how I am – know I am a mess- but holding it together and surviving… but please don’t ask, strangely those are the moments I loose it. Seeing him leave on this adventure – has filled me with so much pride. However, so hard to “set him free” and trust that God is watching, protecting, and guiding him.
Isn’t it funny – if you think about it parenting is just one hypocritical moment after another. Our youngest is 8 – we struggle sometimes with his desire for independence completely – and his ability to do some things (like cook his dinner). We can’t wait till he can do this on his own just one night a week – yet in the last 72 hours I have cooked anything and everything under the sun for the “tall one.” When they are young you can’t wait to have a moment where they aren’t yelling ‘mama, mama” and when they are older you miss hearing just one “mama, mama”, “hey you” …anything LOL.
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.
Confession 2: I may or may not have ended up sleeping with the youngest last night- just to watch that angel face sleep – while there is still room for both of us.
Not sure I have enough chocolate stock piled in my “bedroom food.”
I have the pleasure of being home full time for 3 fulls weeks so far. I have only 4 days left with the “tall one” (he is heading off to air force basic training). I have only 4 FULL weeks left… only LOL … We have had lots of fun so far this summer and this summer off has created lots of excitement and memories.
I am still working on the arguments I tend to have in my head, about taking time for myself and spending (making up) time with my family. I am so grateful to have a VERY supportive family that goes above and beyond to help me create balance.
In all of this, I find myself focusing on the “little time” left and what I need to get accomplished prior to my school year starting (we start August 1). I am definitely getting better at pushing those thoughts out of my head.
Do any of you out there spend time worrying about the time… instead of utilizing the time? If so share with me, ,won’t you. If you struggled with this and mastered how to get over with it…. spit it out and share your methods with me and my over active brain.
Summer break … bitter sweet. I have had lots of rest and tackled many projects. By the end of the day – I am still tired. It is day 14 (weekdays only)…
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds
James 1: 2
Confession– I am a BIG work in progress when counting it all joy. So lets practice…
- I am TIRED of the crumbs and the request for the 100th snack of the day- before lunch – I am JOYFUL that I can provide snacks and he is healthy enough to enjoy them.
- I am TIRED the number of outfits worn for 30 seconds and put in the laundry – I am JOYFUL that I am able to do laundry.
- I am TIRED of the number of toys stuffed somewhere and claimed to be put away- I am JOYFUL for the laughter that was heard while playing with them.
- I JOYFUL for the extra cuddles, chit chats, help with small chores.
What daily things will you try to count as joy today?
So I had an idea come out of no where. This came to me in like one big boom- here it is – this is how- can’t sleep now, get up and do it. I truly believe this is something that was placed on my heart for someone somewhere.
I will be writing prayer postcards. If placed on your heart, go fill out a prayer postcard request. Link is on the top menu bar of website. Currently only sending to US addresses.
To be honest, for the longest time I hated writing (and reading for the most part). As I walk through this life on Earth, I have come to love expressing the 1001 thoughts in my head through writing. By writing, I encourage myself to keep growing and learning. I am stimulated by learning and growing. The greatest growth I have had, is while purposefully journaling. I am not the best with this day to day. But when I look back, these moments held some of the biggest epiphanies, strongest moments of being at peace without understanding and have become an important thread in the quilt of my testimonies.
We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us.
1 John 1:3
So with that I have created a monthly challenge– to help hold me accountable and hopefully give direction to someone needing it. The monthly challenge will focus around quick 5 minute daily journaling. July 2019 challenge will focus on self discovering and finding the joy of the miraculous design of our flaws. I hope you will come along with me. I will post the 30 day calendar at the end of June. I also invite you to hop over to my facebook page – where I will post daily the prompt and invite you to share or learn from others sharing. I am really excited about this new addition to my little corner on the inter-webs.