I have an aunt that cries all the time. I love her – she is more than an aunt. She is my sister, friend, spiritual guide, aunt, therapist, and the list goes on. Crying comes natural and from my perspective easy.
I am not that person. I don’t cry. I just don’t. It isn’t that I choose to not cry- I have days I want the tears to be released and just flow. Just maybe that will solve the current struggle.
In the past year, however, I cry at church. Every. Time. This was worrisome to a degree. Now, I know it shouldn’t cause great concern, but it did. As simple as that- it did. I would have a great Sunday morning and walk into church willing myself, convincing myself that I had absolutely no reason to cry. I am so very blessed. I would leave the service with watered down eyes.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NIV) a time to week and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance … a time to tear and a time to mend…
My story of storms in the recent year(s), honestly, left me utterly broken. Fallen, unable to get up, unable to do basic daily life… but blessed because I feel at his feet. What a great landing place. As I redefined my life, with my new scars and embracing some new flaws. I am a child of God – and the scars from the storm – really have hit home in my heart – with because of my scars and flaws- how much grace, love, guidance, understanding has been poured over me by God daily. I don’t mourn every Sunday. My eyes well up, my voice cracks complete overwhelmed by this realization. He did restore what I thought I lost. He drew me near. He ran to me. When I couldn’t fly- he carried me up the mountain. He listened to my cries, my prayers, my unspoken pleas- he gave me peace in a storm- that couldn’t have produced peace. He gave me strength. He loved me. He loves me. The unmeasurable gratitude that fills my spirit- I redeclare my love for him. I redeclare my desire to forever be his. To forever love him. To feel that, especially in his house – brings on the tears.
For. The. Love. Of Tears – Every thankful Sunday … and quite a few days in between.
Very touching words. We all stray from God and Jesus at times, but God’s love eventually always brings us back to Him. May you always stay near to God.
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Thank you @peggyjoan42.
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