First background note- when I am overwhelmed with thoughts- I tend to read and/or write. If I am overwhelmed with one particular person, especially if emotionally fueled, I write letters. They are not always delivered.
I was reading through some sermon notes from Steven Furtick- this particular sermon was titled “Knock Knock”. It has been a tough parenting day and I was writing some notes and thoughts – and this particular sermon spoke to me in the moment and I used my notes to draft a letter that started like this…
You will learn living in a relationship with God you will be able to discern when God is knocking with opportunities and the right people. And if you don’t listen to that or fail to have a relationship with God, you will open the door to the enemy and people who may even bring you immediate feel good feelings – but it is destructive to your true relationships and you will miss the opportunities that are best for your future. We all want opportunities to come our way, and most opportunities are weird because they don’t always look like opportunities and you are waiting for the challenges to disappear and be free. But obedience comes before freedom and opportunities. The door is already open – you have to be obedient and go through it. Every second you spend waiting for something miraculous to happen- already happened. You just need to be obedient and take action and go through it to reach the opportunity.
The letter went on to address some of the most immediate concerns. When I was done, I saved it and closed it. Something was bothering me and I initially pushed it out of my mind. I finally went back and re-read the letter. I had an ouch moment. This is an epiphany that hurts… but in a good way. It helps pave the next steps. I realized this is so so sooooooooo applicable to my battle with weight.
I am not obedient to what I need to do. I choose to have emotions drive my eating or not eating (because it isn’t always what I put in my mouth- but some days its I didn’t eat anything). I battle with the balance between the two. I very rarely have a day that I can look at and be proud of the food choices I make. I may try to blame my schedule, not having enough help at home, or whatever- but I KNOW it is me. I am not obedient to the cries of my body and the knowledge of my head. I jump to open the door to the choices that make me feel good or better in the moment. Amazing- in one of our toughest parenting seasons- I am learning more about myself that anything (and not just as a parent). So I am calling myself out- maybe that will add a level of accountability. I am committing to a new game plan starting today. I am very lucky that my family is very supportive. (They really always are).
Confession – I know not “confession day” here on OverFlawed Mom.- but you have a right to know LOL. As I sat here, putting my notes together- I am craving nice warm fluffy pancakes. The only thing stopping me, is the fact that our house is small and I will likely wake someone or all up and would have to share. Clearly my Ouch moment hasn’t really sunk in. #WorkInProgress
So I have the blessing/curse of menu planning and grocery shopping. I plan family dinners for everyone and breakfast/lunch for me and mini me. I ask that the hubs and older one give me their list for their breakfast and lunch. Lately, the hubs and most recently the tall older one (he is back – that is a story for another day… maybe)- come with us. I like having the extra lifting help. BUT even though I ask for what they are looking for- since they are going, they just pick stuff up. This doesn’t bother me if they can plan for themselves. While I write this, I am eating a small handful of easter milk chocolate cadbury eggs because….
Confession: I pout. I am really good at it sometimes. I am not proud of this.
It is 3 days after grocery shopping. I am missing most, or main ingredients to every lunch I planned for me and mini me. Why? Because they didn’t plan well or at all and crept in on our plans. I know this is selfish – but I am struggling with their lack of planning has now disrupted my plan. I am struggling that if they finished something they couldn’t write it on the pad attached to the fridge, so that when I was at the store 30 minutes ago I could have picked up. But if I am really honest, I am struggling because when I pointed out what happened, I had an expectation. An expectation that they would be sorry or offer to run to the store. Neither happened. So now I am pouting and getting mad- because I am now struggling to get myself to stop pouting.
Question – Do you have moments like this? Does your mood at times get worse because now you are mad at yourself for feeling this way? Any tricks (besides chocolate) you want to share in the comments to pull yourself out?
New to Bedroom Food Confessions — Need to know what it is…. Check this out.
5. What is this and where did it come from?
4. Who Farted?
3. Put on Some Shorts.
2. For. The. Love.
1. Did you even try to aim?
#BoyMom #OutNumbered #OnlyGirl
I love my perfectly flawed marriage.
Yesterday marked 10 years of survival LOL- our marriage is far from perfect. Far from facebook, instagram, pinterest worthy.
Our marriage consists of:
Days filled with hope and days filled with doubt.
Moments of silliness and moments of seriousness
Days Cleaning and Days Making a mess … I mean memories
Moments of Arguing and moments with Sweet Love Notes
Days filled with sweet conversations and Days of silence
I cant imagine spending 10 more years with it any-other way. Because no perfect marriage exists- but we are both Loved by a God who guides us and provides us with grace as needed. The truth is, I don’t want a perfect marriage- I want a good, realistic, lasting one. One where we grow as individuals and as partners. I once heard love is being able to be stupid together- I am so grateful for our stupid moments and looking forward to many more.
Fall 2019 Bible Study for Teachers (and any school personnel)- focus will be LOVE: Unconditional & Transforming Love.
SPREAD THE WORD and invite your teacher, bus driver, school admin, teacher assistant, school cafeteria – any education friends.
Fall 2019 Bible Study for Teachers (and any school personnel)– focus will be LOVE: Unconditional & Transforming Love.
Since the school year is so busy the format is different from the current summer study.
September-November meet 2 times a month for discussions through Facebook Live. Each session will end with a reflection/goal activity take-away for the next 2 weeks.
Come as you are, you need nothing – but your bible (or bible app) and a journal.
Focusing our sessions around God’s Word and how to incorporate into the school environment:
- Session 1 – Intro: Types of Love
- Session 2 – Faith: The Power of Being Love Focused Instead of Task Focused
- Session 3 – Hope: Loving in the Unloving Moments
- Session 4 – Love: Love Never Fails, It’s Unconditional- Great what does that look like?
- Session 5 – Self-Love: Last, But Not Least- The Unselfishness of Self-Love
- Session 6 – My Love Plan... Life and Classroom
JOIN THE GROUP NOW (Go here: http://bit.ly/OFM-Love-Fall2019) – So you don’t forget in the hustle and bustle of the start of the school year.
OR Follow updates on my Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/overflawedmom/)