Since the start of 2020, I took a long break. I scrubbed the blog. And I was still. I was not going to launch anything new till July-ish.
But my mind, heart and soul have been restless… SO LISTEN UP.
I have been studying grace in depth the last couple of months, preparing for a bible study I am leading.
I had a painful realization, today in the wee hours of the morning, about Grace.
Justice is when you get what you deserve.
Mercy is when you don’t get what you deserve.
Grace is when you get what you don’t deserve.
My mind swirling on the events that are unfolding in our communities currently. I keep coming back to the quote above, used in a sermon by Michael Todd from Transformation Church. Grace is when you get what you don’t deserve. In this same sermon, he stated, Grace is unmerited, unearned, and undeserved. Think about those 2 statements. Be Still. Marinate.
White privilege is a form of grace. Take a deep breath. Re-read the 2 statements in bold above. Really let the words sink in. Now before I can explain, let’s land on what white privilege is. It is unseen, unconscious, deeply routed, systematic advantages. It is worth to note- this is not tied to economic advantages.
So, I am saying- white privilege is a form of grace, here on earth. Still thinking, pondering, or steam blowing out of your ears. Stick with me. Extend a little grace and hear me out.
Close your eyes. You just got pulled over. The cop walks up to your window. Are you worried about being shot? Are you recording and purposefully placing hands on your steering wheel? No…. do you think about having to teach your child these lessons when they learn to drive. No… then you have white privilege.
Now think back to Brock Turner. Raped a girl while unconscious. Caught red handed by 2 passerby’s who chased him down and called the police. Served only 3 months of a 6 month sentence. I am the first to admit I love to think if the roles where changed and a black man sitting in that courtroom, that the outcome would be the same. But honestly, I know it wouldn’t be. I don’t care how you argue it- this was white privilege.
I will say it again. White privilege is a form of grace. Just because I am a christian white woman…
Am I merited?
Did I earn it?
Do I deserve it?
NO! NO! NO!
I sit here today … being completely honest, as a mother, a teacher, a christian, a white woman, I am… sad for the loss of black sons and daughters because systematic disadvantages- conscious or not. Heartbroken for the fact that in 2020 I still need to explain these things to my son and answer his questions. Beyond Angry that a black mother has to explain them daily and embed life lessons -in hopes it will help protect her children in the future. I would be lying if I didn’t say I was Grateful but guilty, grateful that I didn’t have to fight or demand the white privilege, I acknowledge out loud, I have. Guilty that I have no idea how to fight so we all have it. Frustrated at the talk, eye-rolling, shaking the head of white people about the protests that have turned violent and destructive. Frustrated at the lack of empathy to understand why emotional driven protests are happening across America. Frustrated that I understand it needed to come to this- because peaceful and quiet avenues have gone no where. Struggling because I know this is not the Christian way. Frustrated I see the emotions of sadness, worry, anger, frustration among the black community- and I see the finger pointing from the outside. Lost, as a christian white introverted woman, of what I can do. Tired of being lost and quiet. The problem is, as a Christian white woman, I haven’t acknowledged this day in and day out. The problem is I have been silent. The problem is I was lazy and didn’t put in the work to seek opportunities to really listen, to grow and be educated beyond my walk as a white person, and to find a way to use white privilege for change.
So how I am I going to “shout”? Well I am going to start with Seeking advice and education. I am prepared to first listen. Prepared for hard, uncomfortable conversations. Seeking opportunities to use my unmerited, unearned, undeserved privilege to benefit others. Prepared to leap fearlessly. Accepting that I will lose people in my corner.
As a christian white woman, I am struggling with where is God? I am not struggling with the fact that is not God’s work. This division we are in, is the enemy. The enemy seeks to destroy and his greatest weapon is division. So, I am going to pray and seek guidance to use God’s armor to bridge the divide. This is my struggle– how to fight this in his name? How to fight this with the black community? We are all one in Gods eyes and I will not be silent. I am not going to lie, I know some that just want life silent again- changed or not- but silent. BUT I know many more like me, a christian white woman, (and men too) that want to shout- but have no idea how to help fix the divide.
encouraging pleading for all white people to reflect, acknowledge our unmerited, unearned, undeserved grace of white privilege. I get it, it is uncomfortable. But that is part of the problem isn’t it- we are silent when uncomfortable? The enemy knows this and uses this. It is time that we, as a white community, ALL stand up for and with the black community. It is time for all mothers to stand up for ALL the black sons and daughters. And before you go on a tangent, yes all lives matter. But as a christian white woman, I am not blind to the fact, that my life and safety are an unconscious expectation that is met, day in and day out. I acknowledge, that I see this is not the case in the black community. It is time we demand change so Black Lives Matter. Jesus went to the cross for us ALL. Jesus paid ALL our debt and yet, God still pays us daily, with unending grace. It is time to walk in gratitude of that grace and walk arm and arm, shouting, with the black community.
To the Black Community– I see you and please hear my cries- that I am with you, but lost- tell me what you need me to do, tell me what you need me to hear, tell me what I need to learn.
To the White Community- It is time to shout. Even in the smallest ways. Starting in our conversations, in our home, on our street, and wherever our daily life takes us. It is time for us to shout by being quiet and really listening to the black community. It is time for us to shout by being willing to be truly educated by the black community. It is time for us to shout by acknowledging the white privilege we have. It is time for us to shout by answering the call from God to help our neighbor. It is time we, as a white community, shout for the earthly grace of daily “privilege” for the black community.