For the Love of Flaws: The Weight Battle

First background note- when I am overwhelmed with thoughts- I tend to read and/or write. If I am overwhelmed with one particular person, especially if emotionally fueled, I write letters. They are not always delivered. 

I was reading through some sermon notes from Steven Furtick- this particular sermon was titled “Knock Knock”. It has been a tough parenting day and I was writing some notes and thoughts – and this particular sermon spoke to me in the moment and I used my notes to draft a letter that started like this…

You will learn living in a relationship with God you will be able to discern when God is knocking with opportunities and the right people. And if you don’t listen to that or fail to have a relationship with God, you will open the door to the enemy and people who may even bring you immediate feel good feelings – but it is destructive to your true relationships and  you will miss the opportunities that are best for your future.  We all want opportunities to come our way, and most opportunities are weird because they don’t always look like opportunities and you are waiting for the challenges to disappear and be free. But obedience comes before freedom and opportunities. The door is already open – you have to be obedient and go through it. Every second you spend waiting for something miraculous to happen- already happened. You just need to be obedient and take action and go through it to reach the opportunity.  

The letter went on to address some of the most immediate concerns. When I was done, I saved it and closed it. Something was bothering me and I initially pushed it out of my mind. I finally went back and re-read the letter. I had an ouch moment. This is an epiphany that hurts… but in a good way. It helps pave the next steps. I realized this is so so sooooooooo applicable to my battle with weight. 

I am not obedient to what I need to do. I choose to have emotions drive my eating or not eating (because it isn’t always what I put in my mouth- but some days its I didn’t eat anything). I battle with the balance between the two. I very rarely have a day that I can look at and be proud of the food choices I make. I may try to blame my schedule, not having enough help at home, or whatever- but I KNOW it is me. I am not obedient to the cries of my body and the knowledge of my head. I jump to open the door to the choices that make me feel good or better in the moment.  Amazing- in one of our toughest parenting seasons- I am learning more about myself that anything (and not just as a parent). So I am calling myself out- maybe that will add a level of accountability.  I am committing to a new game plan starting today.  I am very lucky that my family is very supportive. (They really always are). 

Confession – I know not “confession day” here on OverFlawed Mom.- but you have a right to know LOL. As I sat here, putting my notes together- I am craving nice warm fluffy pancakes. The only thing stopping me, is the fact that our house is small and I will likely wake someone or all up and would have to share.  Clearly my Ouch moment hasn’t really sunk in. #WorkInProgress

July Journal Challenge

Get a journal – a pretty one. an old one. It doesn’t matter. I hope you will join me in the July Journal Challenge. Take 5 minutes of your day to journal and reflect on how the creator made you – perfectly flawed.  What you need….

 

For the Love… of all the Decisions

How I handle my overwhelmed brain daily.

So let’s talk about my ADD. Many think this is the inability to pay or keep your attention. I think it is the ability to pay attention to too much of everything.  If you don’t experience this- you don’t understand the difference between those two statements. It is overwhelming ALL. THE. TIME.

Have you ever seen that post about the mom, it goes something like this. She gets up makes coffee, notices the legos in the kitchen, picks them up to return to play room, on the way sees a bill that needs to be paid, goes to get checkbook… this goes on all day… at the end of the day she has a full pot of cold coffee, the bill is unpaid and she can’t find the legos. This is my brain at most times of the day.

Now, I have learned tips and tricks to process and handle that feeling.  (and really have become quite well of surviving daily). Some include:

  • Knowing when to take quiet ALONE time (most of the time my family cooperates). Especially when I explain, I need 5 minutes of quiet (no tv, to electronics, no peeps) before my brain implodes (because for real- that is what it feels like).
  • Knowing I need marination time – I try my hardest to be sure I have an opportunity to marinate on ideas, questions. Professionally- this is quite often not possible – as staff meetings, team meetings often have discussions that we were not given a heads up on. In those cases I try to be sure people understand- that when something new is thrown out… my brains starts to look like a set of dominos going off. Every. Little. Thing. even remotely connected to that decision/idea – is shooting off like fireworks in my head. Ignore my face- it usually has nothing to do with what was just stated – but dealing with the collapse of all the dominos. If possible – Ignore the face and give me 5.
  • Lists and time limits. I HAVE to create lists – or I will be all over the place trying to do everything I need to do and do all new ideas that popped into my head. I also assign myself time limits to complete a task . This keeps my attention to that task – not the tangent one.
  • Prayer – in the last few years this is huge. I never thought praying for my overwhelmed brain would help. But when I feel especially overwhelmed with all in my head – I take a deep breath and pray for guidance on what to focus on and sometimes I am just praying straight up for a little peace.

What tips and tricks do you use to process all that moms need to process in a day?

BFC #10

I hit the motherload – I have enough bedroom food for almost a year…. I only spent 5.13 (Thanks to Target Easter sale- 90% off).

IMG_7093

Confession – I am a bit nervous the boys will find- too much to fit in my “special box”.

DOn’t understand what I mean by bedroom food…. catch up here Bedroom Food Confession #1

BFC #8

Bedroom Food Confession 8

Confession:  I struggle finding balance in my work life, family life, and bible study. I crave more time to study and dive into his word. I am happy with the increased family time- and even though it is God guided – I crave more time in the word. 

Question: Have you found any form of balance in this area? Once you fall in love with the word- do you ever really stop craving more? What are your thoughts and/or questions in this area?

Feel like you are missing something … Wondering what is bedroom food… See this post Bedroom Food Confession #1