For the Love … of Love
Insider Information: For. The. Love. Thursday series- has a meaning. I use the saying For. The. Love. allot. This saying in my life- is usually used when I don’t have the words. Can be tied to frustration. Can be tied to unknowing Can be tied to unexpected laughter. It really covers the gamut.
Those who have followed me when this blog first started years ago (before my hiatus) – know I work in education. For my followers who have joined since my return to the blogging world, I left administration to return to the classroom a couple years ago. I work on the University of North Carolina at Charlotte campus. Yes that campus- with the shooting Tuesday.
For. The. Love. .. The last 36 hours have been surreal. Exhausting. The feels and thoughts. Grieving the innocence lost on so many of my students. Grieving the world my kids are growing up in. Grieving that students now a days know if they see running to join in step, not ask questions- just run. That sound and sight of the alert on a phone, in a classroom, on the campus TVs – telling you to “Run. Hide. Fight. Secure yourself.” Grieving that you almost expect to see it at some point. But God….. But Riley who tackled the gunman. But God’s hand in having such a heart positioned in the right place at the right time- to protect his other children. So yesterday I grieved for the loss of so much- and Lyrics from While I Wait – brought some peace yesterday.
Your promises remain
You’re faithful every day
Your promises remain
Though I don’t understand it
I will worship with my pain
You are God, You are worthy
You are with me all the way
So while I wait, I will worship
Lord, I’ll worship Your name
Though I don’t have all the answers
Still I trust You all the same
But today- Joy. This doesn’t mean the UNCC community and myself aren’t still grieving so much… But today I choose joy. Joy for the amazing co-workers, students, families, and the rest of the UNCC community and the outpouring love. Joy of the impromptu breakfast date this morning. Joy for the amazing sunshine that was out on my extended walk to my work building from the parking deck. Joy for the amazing love, support, and faith pouring out on campus. But God. But Joy.
James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,”
So show love by choosing joy today and pray for the Niner Nation.
I hit the motherload – I have enough bedroom food for almost a year…. I only spent 5.13 (Thanks to Target Easter sale- 90% off).
Confession – I am a bit nervous the boys will find- too much to fit in my “special box”.
DOn’t understand what I mean by bedroom food…. catch up here Bedroom Food Confession #1
Bedroom Food Confession # 9
I teach high school. My white board marker tray is metal and has a sharp corner. During transition – in the hustle bustle, I turned too quickly and caught the back of my pants. I had a small hole in my back end area. What you also should know is that my pants are black and my under-roos were a bright pink.
fixed covered hole, in faculty bathroom with electrical tape. When I walked out with the electrical tape, another adult was waiting and looked at me sideways. I responded – had a small project. Smiled and walked away.
You know when I was a beginning teacher- I knew I had to improve in my brain. But, in my heart I thought I was the next best thing next to sliced bread. Now, years upon years later, I lay awake, sleepless some nights, tossing and turning, because I feel like I am not good enough. The truth is- I have grown exponentially since year one. I am so much better now then I was then. The more I hone in on my craft, the farther I feel I am from the finish line.
On my morning drive I realized- this is how I feel in my faith walk.Years ago- I thought I was a great, not perfect, but great Christian women. My faith walk has endured storms, attacks, lulls, and I have been tested and tested over and over. I am so much closer to the Lord, my relationship has grown so much. Yet, I feel so much farther from the finish line. Funny how real growth, from a seed into a baby plant – growth out of the darkness (dirt), actually makes you realize how much more distance you have to get to the clouds.
Bedroom Food Confession 8
Confession: I struggle finding balance in my work life, family life, and bible study. I crave more time to study and dive into his word. I am happy with the increased family time- and even though it is God guided – I crave more time in the word.
Question: Have you found any form of balance in this area? Once you fall in love with the word- do you ever really stop craving more? What are your thoughts and/or questions in this area?
Feel like you are missing something … Wondering what is bedroom food… See this post Bedroom Food Confession #1